Have you ever had ‘issue’ in a relationship? A time when either you or they have said or done something that caused ‘issue’? Or maybe they or you conjured up something and issue was caused? I know of a few that must have, because I have relationships with a few :P.
I found recently that I have issue’s with this issue business. I can’t tell if it is me or they, I think it is me. When with my’ issue in the past people’ I feel judged and condemned. Because of this, I don’t really converse openly,easily with them much anymore, which causes more uneasiness, on my part. Then I begin to wonder if it is actually me avoiding or they. Do they think I am avoiding intentionally? Do they notice me not relating the same? Do they care? Or is this the whole plan, to finally get me to leave them alone and ……?
Trust becomes an issue, I suppose. I am the kind of person that will trust first. I approach everyone with the heart of they like me and I like them. There are times I have to ‘make’ my self get past a prejudice. Suppose I am pulled over for speeding; I have to remind myself that he MAY actually like me, he just has not met me yet and that speeding wand thing was in the way of actually seeing me. If the policeman is wrong about my speeding and still gives me a ticket, or acts like a Barney Fife dweeb. We have issue. And I do not trust him as a competent law officer. I will forever picture him as I pass a sneaky cop car parked behind a bush, just beyond the newly planted, too slow for the area, street sign, trying to catch poor unsuspecting citizens. If he is correct and I have been a tad over the speed limit, and he nicely gives me a ticket, or better yet, a warning. We do not have issue.I still trust him to be a competent law officer who stops to help little old ladies get their kitties from trees. Because the Barney Fifes are alive and well in the police world, I do tend to first think of all policemen as such, and not trust police officers. One of the prejudices I have. Sorry, officer. This is an extenuating circumstance though, usually I do trust everyone first, until……
The ‘until’ has me wondering. IF I can change it? Should I change it? Is it wrong of me to be guarded with friends, family? Is it wrong for me to find issue with negative remarks to me or about me, from friends and family? Am I wrong to guard myself from future ‘repeats’? Should I ignore my being ignored? Does ‘ignore’ and ‘ignorance’ come from the same greek word?HOW do I relate to someone when I do not trust them? When I know they can and will someday nit pick, blame, lie to and about me, tell me I am intolerable, irritating, and that I have no taste or style and they have no desire to call me, talk to me or even read my blog? How?